a half-year of proof and persistence - 25' retrospective
part two of my 2025 retrospective; reflecting on the last six months of the year which have been emblematic proof of independence, neuroplasticity, and perseverance
This is the part two of my 2025 retrospective where I review objectively and subjectively and emotionally and prospectively, how many 2025 has gone. The foreword and first half of the year is available here, while the intention-setting view that talks of impending 2026 is available here.
July
As I had rediscovered in June-July, limiting what I’m allowed to talk about actually helps words flow more smoothly — in July, I settled for a career/work angle, loosely inspired by Bree Groff’s What Work Should Be which is an uplifting, friendly newsletter on managing your passion/progression/sanity in a traditional workplace setting.
I’ve read enough from outsized LinkedIn bros who tell you about what getting engaged taught them about B2B sales or the supposedly self-made entrepreneur who views the education system with hamster-like hostility; I’m of the view that while work is not your entire life, it occupies a pretty big deal of it with 45+ working years and 40 hours per week.
The fact that it occupies 5 out of 7 (~71%) of your days should be enough incentive to make it manageably not shit.
While some of my writing was twinged with career uncertainty, it was a month where I was able to explore a ton of other things — which came with this uncanny reminder of how journaling and documentation and the process of giving voice to your intentions/ambitions/vulnerabilities create clarity unlike anything in nature.
A bit of other consumption-based things this period:
Revisited The Alchemist by Paolo Coelho which, for a book written in 1988, strikes me as something that was written today (deragatory). The Alchemist feels like it was designed specifically to have as much wisdom-per-sentence as possible so that it could be snipped, clipped and reposted as inspirational content on every social media platform ever. It is surprisingly James Clear-coded, and while I think he has really great insights, I have previously shared how perturbed I am by its delivery sometimes (or rather… how his supporters deliver it).
You know what is good though? Hades 2 by Supergiant Games. Fired it up at the start of the month and got to **spoiler** by the end of the month — and on a standing treadmill, no less. What a good fucking hack-and-slash that has both that addictive pick-up-and-play aspect and excellent story progression and characterisation. I miss being able to immerse myself into a digital world like this one.
I was pleasantly surprised to discover how approachable and fun it would be to tuft my own rug. For our little event of the month, we went to Tutu Studio this July to make our own rug — my partner made a toast with egg and I made a bowl of chicken katsudon. This is something I would genuinely do for fun if I had all the tools readily available.
August
Editing Sav: One of my biggest life changes this year was moving apartments for the first time in about seven years.
What is exceedingly impressive though is that I did not include any mention of this in the initial draft of this retrospective and only picked this up while editing.
It has been about six months since then and this is unawareness is perhaps a testament as to how plastic the mind can be; how quickly I can default to a new baseline, how terrifying the hedonic treadmill of normalcy can be.
Burnout had crept its ugly head back in at work so I pivoted almost instantly out of last month’s theme into that of soft recognition and bite-sized inspiration, something I wasn’t getting very much of (good/bad). This month started the notes to self, tumblr-core, short-form approach that was much helpful in getting words on the page until I stopped getting enough sleep.
Other cool things and observations this month:
I learnt about the concept of digital gardens from Maggie Appleton’s blog and recalled how fun it was to fall into these internet rabbit holes. This inspired me to create my own website via a super makeshift hosting method using VS Studio Code instead of a template editor… and then I uh, haven’t done anything with it since. That’s okay though, I’ve got my domain on it (savtaz.com) and who knows in 2026 it might become a portfolio page.
My mate and I made a pizza with Indomie and Kecap Manis because we thought it would be hilarious. It was, truthfully, not bad at all.
Off the back of Hades 2, I tried getting into the MMORPG Guild Wars 2 but it didn’t really ensnare me, probably because I didn’t have too much time to play and not many people around me played it. If only I had an MMO which could ensnare me the way FF14 did (which to this day I’m so confused as to how it was able to do so because its early game was a complete and utter slog).
Visited the memorial of a friend this month at Rouse Hill. Rest easy soldier. 🫡
September
Editing Sav: In yet another divine phenomenon, I had completely missed the month of September in the first draft of this retrospective. It has taken me over a month to notice this on this cramped plane back from South Korea.
I’d wager to say that this is because September was my most uneventful month of the year. Funnily, according to the wheel of life exercise I had done for that month, I proudly proclaimed that I was having a much better time and positive outlook and life so maybe there’s some intersection between “no news is good news” and “being happy”1.
September was a lot of getting used to the new place: Negotiating furniture, learning roads, figuring out parking tricks, nabbing Daiso essentials, etc. It came with that sense of ‘pausedness’ which I didn’t appreciate, which is my writing tended more personable and comforting:
hi honey, i’m proud of you for having fun — A few words on forgiveness and play and how time we enjoy wasted is not wasted time.
when do you feel the most beautiful? — Reflections on what makes me feel most in flow and what I’d like to do to maximise that feeling.
when does appreciation turn into conformity? — On selling out, people-pleasing, stubbornness, etc. That is oddly akin to my worries on intentionality that I talked towards in part one!
October
Have you heard of October theory?
There are several different interpretations of it but the one I noticed most this October was this searing desire to reinvent yourself. It was a feeling I had ingrained deep in my bones before even learning of the concept — which started with Paola Bennet’s Press one for reinvention which is an excellent piece in my opinion by one of my the most underrated writers on Substack. I expanded on this as I explored why I felt this hollowing lack of purpose in October.
Overwhelm hit me like a bull and I strategically chose to deprioritise writing, not in the “you don’t need to write if you don’t want to” but more of the “you have complete permission to publish short and shit pieces” which gave birth to expressing grievances around all-you-can-eat-buffets and flaming anger towards people who say they’re busy. This was loosely inspired by columns of my life by lina (now called the stories club) who had really done the rounds when she made her Substack debut — I love the simple, friendly, magical way she talks about her life; it’s the kind of writing I hope to emulate.2
I’m not much of a travel person but I have never felt the desire to travel more than here — not because I want to immerse into a culture that is not my own, not because I hope to “find myself” in the process of waiting in immigration, but because I really wanted a break from being the Sav I normally am — burdened by life administration, responsibilities with work, the dishes in the sink, running into people and places I am already far too familiar with. It’s something Angel Zheng talks about in her travels to Mexico City which has shaped up to be one of my favourite articles to the year too.
November
My two-hundred-dollar Lenovo Thinkpad experiencing a video game death had a significantly bigger impact to my mental health than I thought it would. Not only was it an additional expense I did not appreciate, but it was pretty much the daily driver for Journaling in Public and practically punched a big whole in my ability to write, journal, and publish.
Despite this technical difficulty and my quarter life crisis brewing into a boil, objectively speaking, I’ve carved out a ton of opportunities this November:
I’ve reinstated regular meetups with my friend group in the form of weekly badminton sessions in the Western Sydney area. Low stakes, casual play operating on a show-up-and-play basis where you let me know two days before if you’re coming, I book the relevant number of courts, and people can come around and hit. Hosting these have become so, so important given that most of us having ordinary 9-to-5 jobs and it’s so exceedingly easy to let something like friendship and group sport fall to the wayside.
I started a TikTok account. Yes, I know. I’m late to the curve and it’s exceedingly cringe; but I wanted something to be able to film, edit, and post via just my phone! My account is not Journaling in Public branded but instead a more lifestyle-and-me account designed as both a visual documentation platform and top-of-the-funnel marketing play for this newsletter, once I figure out how to work with it. People around me won’t think so but I certainly have that narcissist bone in me and I like the attention.
It was a good month for job certainty — I won some award and recognition at the company Christmas Party, got a free professional portrait because I’m in a client-facing role, and perhaps most important got more kinder and specific with my personal storytelling; what I do, what I’m good at, what I’m working towards, and that my career self and Journaling in Public self and actual self are all facets of me that coexist harmoniously. I am far more than what I do for money.
Two propositions took centre stage this month that somewhat contradict one another, likely captured in passing from some inspirational Instagram post or perhaps surfacing from the depths of my subconscious.
Write these down friends, for they will be important later on:
Forgivingly: “You can have everything you want but not at the same time.”
Ambitiously: “Why not try both?”
December
As at the time of drafting this, I’m on a plane to Seoul (20 December) and as at the time of editing, I’m on a plane to Jakarta (29 December) — which is a little frustrating mind you, because I had hoped to get this done while I was in Korea.
Perhaps it’s the jitterbugs are poor lighting that come with being on a plane, sandwiched between strangers who are probably not but really feel like they’re peering into your screen, but I don’t have much to say on December — at least, not things that I’m interested in sharing until my thoughts become more complete.
For completion though, some key updates are:
I finally replaced my car. A well-awaited upgrade from a 2015 Honda to 2021 Mazda which I got from some retired bloke from the Blue Mountains. I have slapped comprehensive insurance on it. Fuck me is it expensive.
It was my girlfriend’s birthday in December. We took an extra day of leave and had wonderful time to ourselves with high-octane activities we don’t normally do and extravagant dinners we don’t normally eat. I like to think she had a good time because my bank account certainly didn’t, but I digress - spending for the right people is something that brings me joy.
Perhaps most prevalent event for December is this family trip to South Korea. I am admittingly not too informed about the itinerary. In another timeline, I’d be more interested and proactive in shaping it but let’s just say I’m keeping it to myself as to why it has not been the case this time. My travels will be available in a travel blog format sometime in Jan/Feb 2026 — if this isn’t linked already, let me know!
My main project for December is to no surprise, this 2025 retrospective and 2026 intention setting exercise. I haven’t had that much time and headspace to write, both in Sydney and Korea, so I’m hoping to really squeeze this out in the 10+10 hours I’ll be in mid-air; and even if I don’t… it’s not the end of the world. My intentions don’t need to be set on 1 January 2026. I have the entire year to figure them out.
Afterword
If I had to choose a word to sumamrise the events of this year, it would be PROOF.
2025 has been a year of proving things to myself.
It is proof that I’m damn good at my job, that with the aptitude I’ve developed thus far, along with my ability to quickly and effectively learn both technical and soft skills, point to a bright horizon that can go in many directions. It is proof that I can hand in my resignation and, selfishly speaking, create a massive hole in an organisation that is difficult to fill from both expertise-wise and personality-wise. It is proof that I can carve my way into roles that I’m not super familiar with and immediately deliver value to stakeholders and colleagues alike. It is proof that I’m a dependable investment, and when the day comes that I start a business of my own, I will have the acumen and mindset and connections to do so.
It is proof that I am independent, with the ability to make potentially preposterous life decisions, take accountability for it, and grow. It is proof that I have financial literacy, the soundness and understanding of looking at investments and whether they serve me, the courage to close my eyes and hit send despite big menacing numbers. It is proof that I can take care of myself physically and mentally and getting there for spiritually too, that I’m discovering my core values, that I’m building a life that is in accordance with them. It is proof that I am, as immature as this sounds, a well-functioning adult who has got a fair bit more of his life together than before.
It is proof that I have the neuroplasticity to grow and change, that I can build community and act as glue between friends, that I’m still here after all this time as a harbinger of lifelong learning. It is proof that I can build a website with no experience. It is proof that I can finish a game despite not having time. It is proof that I can learn a new sport like basketball and host badminton events without evening being good at it — bringing misfits and old friends together, and that I can be so much more outgoing than I had known before. It is proof that in order to raise a village, you must be a villager; and that I am an appreciated villager.
And finally, the fact that you’re reading this newsletter at the end of 2025 is proof that I can achieve anything I put my mind to.
Starting has always been a problem for me. Consistency has been an ever bigger one.
Twelve months, eighty-ish posts, fifty-or-so subscribers later — the fact that I’m still very much here, more perseverant and passionate than ever, as digital and living proof that I am capable of sticking to difficult things.
I have proven to myself that it’s incredibly important for me to have a ‘second thing’ going on, that I need to practice and maintain something entirely independent of my day job and my partner/future family. It is important to me to live a well-balanced life in definitions that are my own, that is intentional and reflective and meaningful and this (i.e. writing, retrospectives, journaling, documentation) — is my way of interweaving ambition, vulnerability, authenticity, and presence into the cracks of the mundane.
It’s something I wish everyone had for themselves — not necessarily writing nor even something creative, but a leisure activity or interest that they can call theirs, that nobody in the world can take away from them.
This 2025, I have proven — not necessarily to others, but certainly to myself — that I can do difficult things and come out the other side, smiling and unscathed and all the wiser for it.
Keep reading: Intention-setting for 2026 — It’s currently midday of 31 December 2025 as I publish this and it looks like I won’t be able to complete part three in time for the new year. I have set the link to work once I publish it, so if it leads to a Link Not Found page, just know it is still in progress :)
Hi there, thanks so much for reading. I’ve never been one for paywalling my writing — cause then it would no longer be ‘in public’! If you’d like to support me and for whatever reason show it via monetary means — a link to buy me a coffee is available below:
Mysteriously, when I started editing this Wheel of Life post only three days after drafting it, I was already shaky and hesitant on what I had written. This is very indicative how up and down my feelings can be on a day-to-day basis and the importance of zooming out to the big picture.
It looks like October was a month where I was suddenly inspired by a ton of creators here on Substack, enamoured by the way they write and interweave their topics of interest. I think this is an awesome little thing and would love to study them further next year to understand what really makes their writing tick :)