Halo.
Sav here.
Can’t believe we’ve arrived to the fifth and final part of this 25 by 25 series.
I did think I would get this far but I didn’t think I’d be able to do so without deviating from my self-imposed publishing schedule of one piece published every Sunday.
We are admittedly scraping to the bottom of the chum bucket here because other than my twenty-fifth point, I have no idea what I’m going to write about. I opened up all the miscellaneous notes on my phone, scoured the bits of scattered text on Scrivener, scrolled up and down past conversations and hunted into the corners of my own mind to get four additional lessons to talk about — which I’ve got written on this piece of paper and vaguely intend to follow.
This doesn’t mean I’ll follow it, of course, because if there’s anything I’ve learnt from writing and creative art forms is that you can’t possibly have everything mapped out perfectly at the start. The plot becomes clearer as you write. You discover what happens the same way your protagonists do.
(And now that I mention it, this has got to be a lesson on its own. I am hereby bumping out one of my other points in favour of this)
Through this 25 by 25 series, I’ve built myself a nifty compendium of five articles I can replicate, recycle and revisit at pretty much every birthday moving forward. It’s such a great checkpoint that I can look back on and if I’m still on this platform (or equivalent) at thirty, then you know for sure that I’ll publish a follow-up 30 by 30.
With each part, I’ve been posting an accompanying carousel on my Instagram account and republishing to friends and family. More people than usual have commented — which I so whole-heartedly appreciate — though I’m still festering in that fear of being perceived. It’s the curse of us writers: we want everyone in the world to see and praise our work but once somebody we know in real life does so, we retreat back into our little boxes.
No more boxes, my friend. My thoughts are printed here and available in public — not something I intend to share to employers mind you but something I’m slowly becoming better at sharing with friends, family, and internet strangers.
Let this be exactly and aptly, what I had named this blog. An act which I’ve only recently garnered the courage and comfort to stamp onto the world; this is my public journal, to share my story and help others feel heard with theirs.
1. Your habits live and die by your environment
Motivation is like weather. One day warm, one day cold, one week as incredible as ever and the other as frigid and desolate as can be.
Discipline is like climate. Your lifestyle would be very different between an equatorial beach town versus a snowy hillside village.
Environment, however, is like a greenhouse — where with enough thoughtfulness and strategic planning, you can grow anything within these walls.
When we tailor our physical environment with the right triggers and processes, we can naturally put ourselves in the mental space where motivation and discipline play on their own.
It is creating your own convenience.
Do you want to learn the guitar? It’s a lot easier if said guitar is sitting right across your desk, just within arm’s reach, with a chords guide placed right next to it. Do you want to exercise more? It would astoundingly helpful if your fitness gear already fills a slot in your work bag and the gym is quite literally on the way back. Do you want to drink more water? Here’s an odd solution: get a water bottle with a straw. For some reason, straws and spouts tend to result in people drinking more alongside an unusual number of apps designed to remind people to drink.
Likewise, you can create your own friction.
Want to reduce your screen time? Put your chargers in the opposite room. Turn on those screen time apps. Tie a rubber band around your phone. Make yourself work for it. Need to reduce your spending? Automate your budget. There are numerous finance apps that lets you send half your paycheck into an invisible savings account before you even consider it — this is where I’d put a banking sponsor if I had one. Have trouble with snacking? Stop putting snacks in your house. This doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to snack. It just means that if you actually genuinely want to — you have to go out of your way and head to the store.
We won’t always have motivation. We can’t always have discipline.
More often than not, we will choose the path of least resistance — so let’s make sure we pave said path with what we want to happen.
2. You don’t need to be the subject matter expert (Proactiveness > Experience)
Something I’ve figured out from this 25 by 25 series is that I find it a lot easier to create articles if I have an overarching topic to focus on. As such, I’m trying to figure out my subject of choice in July to intentionally limit my options.
But how can I pick a subject matter when I’m not an expert on it?
Well, that’s easy. By accepting that I don’t need to be.
This is a realisation that undercurrents a ton on my work experience, which I’m still in the early stages of. I’ve learnt that, especially as a new grad, proactiveness is the greatest strength you can have.
As a new person on the grounds, you don’t have the industry experience and knowledge, nor will you have the internal relationships necessary to get what you need at all times.
What you can compete with is via initiative.
It is by putting your hand up for projects even if they’re way out of your comfort zone or area of expertise. It is finding ways to make your manager’s and colleagues’ jobs easier. It is reading a few articles to figure out something you don’t understanding something. It is having the bravery of telling your seniors that you don’t know what’s going on and need more guidance on the matter.
For the interview of the first job I got, I had asked the interviewer what he believed was the most important trait he was looking from a good graduate. His answer was ‘mental flexibility’. I didn’t last very long in that job — I certainly wasn’t as flexible as I wanted — but that sponge-like, absorbent mentality is something I still subscribe to.
Corporations don’t care about us. They literally don’t.
But corporations, even the largest ones, are really just big groups of people doing stuff that works towards the same goal.
And people do notice!
When you put your hand up or extend a hand of help, it does not go unnoticed by your colleagues.
Have your boundaries, of course — but like everything else in life, the more proactive you are in showing up for the universe, the more the universe will play in your favour.
3. Clarity comes with execution
When you’re on your way home at midnight, even though you can only see pretty much directly in front of you — you always seem to find your way home.
I like to think creativity functions like that too.
(Author’s note: This is the lesson I’ve only just included, that I had alluded to at the start. This is replacing: “Be less worried about paying back and start paying forward instead”)
I’ve shared time and time again that the biggest roadblock to my writing is starting.
Even today, as I’m drafting this, I had 1) scrolled through Reddit 2) opened up Airbnb 3) did a typing test on Monkeytype 4) took a shit 5) and refilled my water bottle before even typing the first sentence.
This procrastination is minor but profound, and I know now that it comes from a place of perfectionism, which actually comes from a place of fear that 1) my writing skills cannot properly convey the thoughts in my head or 2) the thoughts in my head aren’t as impactful or profound as I want them to be.
But once I get over it, once I get into the routine of hitting the keys on my keyboard at an order that I enjoy — creativity flows like a bursting dam. I feel like both author and protagonist, uncovering ideas and vanquishing dragons, discovering plot twists so meticulously intertwined, creating my own sense of character development. I wield both pen and sword.
It’s great to be a planner. It’s great to be a strategist. Consequently, it’s a common pitfall to find ourselves in planning hell, where we have an idea and we watch a bunch of tutorials on said idea and make plans and plans and plans to the point that we never actually do.
You will not learn how to swim by watching a YouTube tutorial. You will not knit your own sweater via a TikTok compilation. You will not master negotiations by reading a productivity book. You will not become an entrepreneur by watching a Masterclass video.
Learning to swim comes from your feet treading water. A sweater is formed by having yarn looped between your fingers. Without having dealt with real confrontation, you will crumble like a cookie under the pressure of a tough ask. And that entrepreneur? They can only tell you about the path that worked them. Only you can discover the path that works for you.
And that’s by walking it.
Only trial and experimentation will teach you how to do something — and more importantly, validate to yourself whether it’s something worth fighting for.
4. Not everything is your fault but your response to it is
There is no karmic balance sheet.
There is nobody coming to save you.
There is no guarantee that you will get you want/need.
Roles will go redundant. People will be terrible. Poor weather will ruin your holiday. Interest rates will yank you out of home ownership for another few years. In the most extreme cases, awful decisions from someone you had never met — in a fast-moving vehicle, can result in incredible long-term repercussions for you — crossing the street in the dark.
None of that is in your universe of knowledge.
None of it is your fault.
But all of it, should the uncertainties of life unfortunately happen to you, is your responsibility.
And how you respond to it will be your fault.
Despite everything, I’ve actually grown into more of an optimist over the years.
I’m usually the first to admit something is awful, shrug, and move on. I’ll make a mental joke of the situation but I won’t say it out loud. I’ll write in a journal and look towards the silver lining, perhaps even break down and cry a little bit, but quickly move on because I’m not quite Disney’s Rapunzel and my tears don’t have the power to solve problems on their own.
With that, I’ve also grown more unforgiving — more realistic and stoic, but never nihilistic.
I want people to feel sad when something bad happens, to fester in their disappointment and anger. I want people to ruminate and whine and throw a fit of bellowing rage, so long as it doesn’t hurt others. However, I’ll only allow this — I’ll only forgive this — if they would see the light at the end of the tunnel; that after the anger and sadness and curling hate, there is action afterwards to never let it happen again or approach the situation with a more pragmatic view.
The same way that the true test of consistency comes with sticking to your habits when life gets terribly busy — the true test of humanity is showing kindness and heart when the universe seems to have fed us nothing but enmity and dislike.
I will never crucify myself for a horrid, knee-jerk reaction.
But to me, holding a grudge is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies.
Healing is my responsibility.
5. Life is LONG
Guys, gals, non-binary pals — it seems we’ve finally made it to the finish line.
The last bit of armchair philosophy I’d like to share is in contrast with the old-school mindset that we must live in the moment and do what we love; for life is too short do anything else.
I’ve never liked the mentality. I understand it’s messaging mind you, but I’ve always viewed it in a more negative light — that there is no purpose in longer-term investment, that with age comes with ugliness and despair, that everything you love must be done as quickly and efficiently as possible because tomorrow might just be your final day.
Fuck, if I knew I’d die tomorrow, I’d be too stressed out of my mind to do anything impactful and end up dying today.
Life isn’t short. We make it short. By tying ourselves to struggles that don’t uplift us. By dealing with tasks with no sense of trajectory of progression. By the clouded belief that the person we are meant to be lives somewhere in the future when they’re already with us now.
I believe that life is LONG.
And that’s especially so if you’re somebody in your early 20s.
You have TIME — so much of it! So much fucking time ahead of you that Warren Buffet is frothing at the mouth at the mouth just thinking about how much you have. It’s the investor’s most powerful resource.
You have time to change your career trajectory. You have time to start and fail a business. You have time to enter a relationship; the same way you have time to leave and trial a new one. You have time to live in Canada to Kazakhstan to Iceland to the Philippines to discover which climate you like the most. You have time to be a beginner and foster a skill in something new. Have you always wanted to draw? To play the piano? To publish your own novel? The shoot your own movie? Run a 5k in less than 25 minutes? All these things take time. You won’t be very good at first. It might even take a bit of money to get started but the best part is that you’ve got just about the rest of your life to make it happen.
It’s going to take years before you ever become good at something but the time will pass anyhow. Tell me honestly, what else are you going to be doing with your time anyway?
This isn’t to say that ‘life is short’ has no merit.
Life is too short to hold grudges and hate. Life is too short to seek validation from people you don’t care about. Life is too short to wait to become the person you’ve always wanted to be. Life is NOT too short to do things you don’t like — but it is too short to continue doing them once you’ve given them a fair, honest, and meaningful shot and decided that it’s outside of what you want to do.
It is not the absence of struggle, but struggle in the things that are meaningful to us, that create a happy life. You’re both the hero and author, after all, so just pick whichever definitions work for both of you.
The day you sow the seed is not the day you eat the fruit.
What you do today can improve all your tomorrows.
And between you and me, you have the rest of your life to benefit from it.
substacks i’ve enjoyed recently:
25 things i've learned in my 25 years by
🎂The New 80% Rule in Culture by
🎭practices that help you understand what you want from life by
🥛this is actually a five part series and this is the last bit. you can find one, two, three, and four linked here! 🐥
if I time my chips properly, my Now page should be up to date around now 🐫