notes app; i may have covid but luckily it does not spread digitally
on irresponsible purchases, very cool jackets and bridges, and learning to slow down and watch life - every now and then
Ola!
Sav here.
I may have COVID-19.
I don’t feel awful, per se, just a little nauseous and feverish - that uncomfortable but reasonable hangover feeling except I didn’t drink too much at the Christmas/New Years house gatherings that I went to. A few of my friends tested positive though and I am 99% certain I know who/what/when/where/why the source was, so I’m just going to seclude myself at home or locations where there are minimal people for now.
Nonetheless, it’s a dazzling start to the new year. Welcome to 2025 everyone! Happy you made it. I really am.
Here’s what’s been on my mind.
Cheap things, expensive things
In an original draft of my 2024 retrospective, I had a long list of ins-and-outs and what appeared at the very top of my ins was something along the lines of being okay with spending money on things that 1) make the things I want to do easier and more convenient and 2) generate time or energy savings.
And then I bought a five dollar foam roller from K-Mart, because I was at a friend’s place and used their foam roller and it was quite satisfying. And then I bought a beach umbrella and some chairs online, because another action was that I wanted to get more sun and take advantage of being a 15-20 minute drive to some of the most spectacular beaches in Australia.
And then I realised, hold up, what the hell am I doing?
Will I use these things? Yes, probably.
Will they provide dividends for me in the future? Uh, maybe.
My fear is not that my purchases are short-lived and quickly become obsolete but the fact that I just spent about seventy dollars, but did not mentally register it as seventy dollars, because they were five plus twenty plus twenty plus twenty-five dollars respectively.
This habit of being allergic to large purchases that are assuredly worth it but being happy to take on multiple reasonably-priced items that add up to the same amount is a very known phenomenon in the church of myself.
Penny-wise but pound-foolish, it is… not the best habit. Budgeting is one of the things I’ve got to get more on top of this year too.
Oh but this is the coolest jacket I have ever seen
Talking about expensive shit, the Alpha Industries x Beautiful People 4-way MOD coat Vol.2 is the coolest jacket I have ever seen.
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Fashion has not played a major part of my life and part of me wants to engage in it more.
Sometimes, I look at fit pics and think damn they look spectacular and I want to do so too.
I want these shiny, new, branded things. I also want affordable and thrifted pieces.
But then there’s part of me is also terrified of being too out there and trying too hard to stand out in the crowd. Maybe that’s one of the things that I need to do this year too because haven’t we established that not only is it okay to be tryhard, but that you cannot be extraordinary without being a little delusional?
And this is the coolest bridge I’ve ever seen
My laptop is one of those recurring background thingies that change you background every couple of days and one day, this image in particular showed up:
It’s apparently a bridge in Germany called Rakotzbrücke, also known as Devil’s Bridge, composed of artificially-formed basalt columns. I just can’t fathom how… surreal it is to have these vertically-shaped stones keeping up an otherwise horizontal bridge - not to mention that crystalline structure in the background (presumably also basalt) that looks like it came straight out of Final Fantasy.
Note to self: Productivity is not a proxy for how good your day had been
In the vein of habits that I want to leave in 2024, I must stop associating busyness with productivity and productivity with satisfaction.
I’m going to give myself permission to breathe - to find happiness and gratitude in the ability to do basic things. I’m grateful that I have the hands to cook myself a nutritious meal, even if they’re not particularly innovative meals. I’m grateful that I can take the light rail for a 30-minute commute home from work, much better than an hour and much than being stuck in a car. I’m grateful that I can spend an extra twenty minutes on the bench at Barangaroo, waiting for my girlfriend to finish work.
I used to think I was good at this gratitude thing.
I think there’s room for some more.
Conversations from across the pond
I’ve been doing a lot of writing at coffee shops this holiday season and sometimes, I unknowingly eavesdrop into the conversation across the pond.
Today, I heard:
“It’s nice watching life, every now and then.”
I don’t know the context, mind you, but in my head - this forty-ish year old man had been sitting at the cafe for the last hour or so before running into two people that he knew, just as he was about to leave; so he had a quick chat with them before giving up his seat.
But his statement about ‘watching life’ — I don’t know why I found that so interesting.
Slowing down is something that I need to practice more of. Honestly, this holiday season has proved that without my 9-to-5 domineering my time, I still scramble to make my days productive in some way (see point 4) - this time, manifesting as writing sessions at cafes, beaches and parks.
I’m grateful that I’m able to do so but at the same time, acknowledge that I’m imposing unnecessary stress on myself.
Let this be a second note to self that it’s no crime at all to let life stroll by, every now and then. Let your thoughts linger. Take the scenic route. Hang the laundry without a YouTube video yapping in the background. Unproductive and fulfilled!
(A side note: a lot of my entries this week have been about things that I “really need to do” but they’re all in the vein of doing less. Now isn’t that ironic?)
What have I been reading recently?
Funnily enough, I’ve been consuming a LOT of Substack this time around. Here are some of my favourites:
The State of the Culture, 2024 by The Honest Broker - Art is eaten by Entertainment. Entertainment is devoured by Distraction. Distraction is laid waste by Addiction. In this impeccable criticism, Ted gives picture to a terrifying future that is already here; the cataclysm of the creative economy, the dopamine-jacking cartel of big tech and how being even a little disconnected for this digital indulgence is more important than ever.
CAN WE JUST DELETE LINKEDIN AND THE ENTIRE CORPORATE WORLD by Words That Roar - In a roaring proclamation, Mackenzie suggests a divine reckoning in how we define success - it must shaped and painted by the individual, whether it’s having a cottage by the woods, making ten billion dollars per year or basking in the quiet pleasures of companionship. As a bit of a corporate rat racer myself I’m a little conflicted about what success means to me, but bit by bit and perhaps by journaling it aloud, I can get closer to what I call an intentional life.
do you have to let it linger? by postcards by elle - I can really relate to Elle’s impatience towards everything and honestly think that I’m not alone in the camp, with the lightning speed of culture making everyone more impatient, especially in the veins of art and entertainment. I do want to let things linger, mind you, which is why I really want to read more long-form content this year, immersing myself in worlds of the author’s making.
the vulnerability trap by angelic dissent - Eve demonstrates one of my favourite traits of the English language: the fact that there are so many similar yet subtly different words to describe the same thing. Authentic. Real. Vulnerable. Similar, but not quite. Eve also shares a lot of thoughts on what ‘vulnerability’ really means nowadays and how it has unfortunately been commodified into a marketable, internet product (an act that I won’t lie, I’m partaking in a little bit)