26 things to never forget

obligatory birthday post

I’ve been smacking my head against the wall for what to write about for my birthday post.

I wanted it to be wonderfully insightful and so-perfectly delivered, with a similar artistry to Chloe Shih’s 30 Lessons by 30, positively snazzy like tadzio dlugolecki’s 30 reminders for 30 years, or the romantic existentialism from emily north’s serve yourself a slice of your own disappointment.

It takes a certain level of mental illness to post your life online in the form of a heart-to-heart newsletter series and a towering gift of narcissism to put this kind of poetic gravitas on your twenty-sixth birthday. It’s not even a milestone age.

But honestly, I would much rather be a bit of a creative, to find magic in the nooks and crannies of the mundane, build meaning and story where there is otherwise coincidence — than to be told what to think via a mindless, McChicken lifestyle where I consume, consume, consume into oblivion.

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Journaling in Public is a newsletter sharing stories and strategies on career, creativity, and finding magic in the mundane — so that the parts you’re quietly figuring out don’t feel like yours alone to carry. If that appeals to you, we should be friends!

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And so, for this birthday post, I’ve come to the conclusion that my obvious idea is my best idea.

Here are 26 things, all totally real and serious, that have formed part of my philosophies and values, and that I want to remember and keep forevermore.

1. All parties are better with a communal carbohydrate

And if there are none on the table, take the initiative to get one.

Yes, even considering how expensive a bowl of chips at a restaurant can be.

A shared communal carb, whether a 1-on-1 conversation, dinner with strangers, or your gossip-heavy girls’ night leads to satiation and conversation.

Cool kids order it. Everybody finishes it.

Also see: To raise a village, you must be a villager.

2. Hit pause

I have a treacherous habit of blocking out thirty minutes in my calendar for self-reflection and review, and letting every meeting, task, or inconvenience whatsoever overwrite it.

After being moved about seven times, it drops off entirely and I never actually do it — even if I want to.

There is so much value in pausing. In locking yourself in a room or perhaps with one other person to bounce ideas off of, to write down what you need to do and assign priority/urgency/impact like a stupid little product manager.

It’s a whole ass discipline.

And it shows discipline.

Also see: You don’t always need to hit a button out of the corner

3. Projects keep me sane / I want to be creative

Everyone should have a project.

It must sit entirely outside the work you do for money.

Preferably, it is unrelated to what you need to do in your day-to-day life (e.g. cooking, walking the dog, keeping the house clean).

I believe it is through projects, that don’t necessarily need to be creative (can be physical, spiritual, educational) where we can drive an internal locus of control and sense of personal progression.

Also see: A project will save you by Rosie Spinks

4. Your friends might not grow at the same pace as you

And while this doesn’t mean you should toss them aside, it just means that… not all advice is good advice.

Frankly, some people are just losers.

It’s not wrong to be a loser. It’s not even wrong to not want to improve¹.

You are the five people closest to you, and that includes the voices you let in your ear via podcast and song, so be sure they are inspiring, comforting, and encouraging of good behaviour.

Likewise, have the grace of forgiveness when someone doesn’t quite meet your standards.

Also see: modern day social etiquette you should live & die by - by Hanna Park

5. Your dependability is not a strength

I am a dependable person. I hang my hat on this trait, especially in a work setting, but there are times where dependability tends to a lack of agency, a person who compliantly waits for instructions.

People-pleasing disguised as empathy and resilience. It can lead to an early grave at best, or a life functioning on others’ rules at worst.

And fine, it is a strength, but not a differentiator — it’s not something that makes you one of the greats.

You don’t crack open the dependable Toyota Camry to win Formula 1.

Also see: Confessions of a recovering people-pleaser by Baron Ryan

6. If analysis was the answer, you would have gotten there by now

Pick up the fucking phone.

Teamwork isn’t learnt in a Pivot Table.

Communication isn’t learnt from a textbook.

And while creative thinking can be discovered through introspection and journaling, it only gets validated when brought to the real world.

Also see: your surface area for luck is proportional to your humanity

A flat white at Oddity Coffee in Jakarta, early this year

7. A drink in a non-home location does wonders for my productivity

While the cost of coffee has increased by ~30% since I arrived in this country, it’s still well-worth the rented productivity.

When I’m in a cafe or similar outdoor space, I’m more able to focus and engage in my activity of choice (write this newsletter, read a book, converse with friends).

It’s a popularly simple pleasure and I drive a lot of joy from it.

Also see: rating cafes in sydney by how much writing I get done in them

8. Two floor apartments suck ass

I don’t have a problem with going up and down the stairs. It’s the fact that internet signal generally doesn’t make its way up to the second floor without an extender of some kind.

And even with the extender, the top floor is literally ten times slower than the bottom floor.

An electrician also told me once that it’s really difficult to get electrical wiring into the top floor resulting in, on average, fewer power outlets — which also kinda sucks.

I’ll keep this in mind when purchasing my first unit.

9. Appreciate the fact that I am an ordinary sleeper

If there is something I want to express more appreciation for, it’s the fact that I’m the most neurotypical sleeper I know.

When I want to sleep, 95% of the time, I fall asleep just fine².

This is a big fucking blessing. Appreciate it.

Also see: challenging my scarcity mindset

10. You don’t actually like the gym / What is convenient, is completed

I’ve been developing a great gym routine recently but am also coming to terms that it’s not my first choice for physical activity.

In order, my preference is: A nature trail or scenic walk, then light sports such as badminton or casual running, then gym sessions focusing on strength, then heavy contact sports like basketball.

The main reason I don’t do more trails and walks is because the activation energy of getting to the location is so insurmountably high compared to the convenience of a six-minute walk to the Anytime Fitness near home.

I won’t defend the convenience economy and its detrimental effect on our ability to do hard things, but I’m grateful that it creates an easier environment to be consistent with things like fitness.

Plus, there’s nothing stopping me from doing both gyms and trails.

Also see: snakes!

11. Notetaking, documentation, and journaling is not just a lifestyle — it makes life

This is a bit morbid but I feel like I will cease to exist from August 2026.

This isn’t to say something terrible will confound me, but there is this weird, cryptic feeling that from that month on I’ll be replaced by an entirely new person pretending to be me, a bit like that conspiracy theory with Avril Lavinge.

A part of that is related to not keeping a habit of documenting and keeping notes of what has been happening in my life.

When I fail this: I have no memory of what happened more than two days ago. I have no idea what will happen two days from now. It hampers my ability to make plans for the future and appreciate what happened in the past.

The brain is meant to process information, not store it — let paper and other technologies do this, and leave the mind open for writing i.e. clarity-building.

Also see: Why I’m Starting to Document My Life by Life of Riza

12. Put things on direct debit

It is important to have some friction.

There are some situations where I’d like to introduce more of it.

Not this one, though.

Lack of oversight is far better than missing a whole ass payment.

I kinda wish I had more pictures of get-togethers, this is the only visible one I’ve got from one of my several badminton sessions

13. I care far more about the microeconomics of people than the macroeconomics of the world

Not to get political but I don’t give a flying shit about politics until it starts personally impacting my day-to-day.

When I catchup with someone, I want to learn about you.

Tell me about what you ate for dinner, how your dog is doing, the latest YouTube video you’ve watched, that colleague who keeps pissing you off, the toppings you’ve put on your instant noodles, the last time you felt joy or anger or curiosity or fear…

I am far more interested in the microeconomics of YOU far more than the macroeconomics of the world around us.

14. The phone is a deadly laser

The word ‘ick’ makes me cringe, but it’s unfortunately the best word to describe this feeling — mass phone usage gives me the ick.

I get genuinely nauseous when I see rows upon rows of glassy-eyed commuters staring at their phone, as if stuck in hypnosis.

It’s alright if you’re looking at your emails or texting a friend. I’d even defend video games — at least you’re doing something.

But whenever I realise that half the throng is looking at advertisements, shock videos, and AI-generated slop masquerading as education…

I won’t lie. I’m pretty disgusted.

Also see: your phone is the reason you have no identity - by jc 💌

15. Kewpie mayo goes with everything

I know a miracle ingredient when I see one.

Upgrades any savoury rice bowl.

Mixes into eggs and salad.

Is an incredible dip for anything deep fried.

Makes a perfect, creamy paste layer for sandwiches.

And get this — add a small amount of anything into kewpie mayo and you’ve suddenly got a trendy delicacy that Australian brunch joints would charge you half a house deposit for: matcha mayo, gochujang mayo, basil mayo, curried mayo…

Visited the Edogawa Commerative Garden in Gosford!

16. Comparison is the thief of joy / People can just lie on the internet

Just today, I saw a reel of somebody who allegedly made $90k in a single month primarily through UGC and affiliate market.

I was overcome by a wicked surge of jealousy, and then realise that, you know, people can just lie on the internet — and you don’t even need a good camera or strong editing skills for it, just a series of good, algorithmic coincidences in a row.

Not to say it isn’t possible, just that it’s not quite the norm.

And if you’re going to be jealous, be jealous of the full package.

17. I want to always maintain my bocil-ness

‘Bocil’ is an Indonesian word that stands for bocah kecil, which translates to “little kid”.

It’s typically used somewhat condescendingly towards someone acting rowdy and immature, but in my household, we say it endearingly, with a dollop of love and a ton of beaming hope.

Impromptu suppers. YA literature. Internet slang in a meeting room. Running in shallow ponds. Video games with dumb storylines. Imagination and curiosity and play.

Growing up does not mean you need to give your childishness away.

Also see: The Rise of Play Among Youth Culture - by Gael Aitor / Grownkid

18. Replace my ‘shoulds’ with ‘coulds’

Full disclosure is that I kinda just added this one. Thanks, tadzio dlugolecki and Annie Manora.

I always think I should do things — see: should exercise, should save money, should get this job, should quit this habit.

While generally positive feedback, somebody prescribed this messaging to me and I don’t think it’s my past, present, nor future self (also see point 5, on people-pleasing).

When I call things out as a could, it sits more within my internal locus of control. It becomes a possibility instead of an obligation. A race that I wholeheartedly start — not when I am catching up on for an invisible audience.

Also see: literally just do things - by Erifili Gounari

19. Compliment generously

Both in the face of the person you’re complimenting and especially when they’re not around (it gets back to them)

Compliments are FREE, yet worth so much more than you could ever realise. It trains your eye for appreciation, to find magic in the mundane.

I’m so appreciative of any interaction with my work. It lives in my head rent-free for the next couple of days — and while I can’t say I’ve ever experienced it, I’d like to think even the more the successful writers with tons of subscribers get this same satisfaction when people share thoughtful comments.

If you can increase the amount of happiness in the world with no foreseeable downside, why don’t you?

Also see: take the fucking compliment (this post was published exactly one year ago!)

20. Taking a picture does not reduce my ability to be in the moment

Alternatively: If whipping out your phone and recording parts of a concert is enough to take you out of it, you have failed the test of wills.

When I pay $31 dollars for a gorgeous salmon egg benedict and sea salt montblanc, I am also paying for an aesthetic picture. It is priced into the menu, such that if I don’t do it, it decreases the value I obtain from it — literally equivalent to leaving both the eggs on the side of the plate³.

I grew up thinking this was cringe when really, it’s just finishing my damn food.

21. We keep paradoxes in our heads - both can be true

Step shared an article with me on paradoxical advice by the Stale Star Codex that so perfectly encapsulates what I’m feeling.

We didn’t need the internet to be a genie-like baston of ill advice but here we are with a million conflicting perspectives where a ton of people are lying but a surprisingly majority are telling the truth.

We can’t all be right, right?

Ironically, both can be true — The highest form of love is to be known without even speaking / to love and be loved, you must actively observe and communicate.

There are times where we keep two conflicting but correct beliefs in our head and sometimes, we just learn to live with them.

I’m on a quest to collect these snippets of paradoxical advice so let me know when you see any.

Also see: the paradoxes we manage

22. Writing breeds clarity; but so do your support networks

I love writing, journaling, and all things introspection — but it doesn’t solve everything.

You cannot introspect your way into lived experience. The answers lie outside of yourself.

Conversations with friends and family and the person you love. A long walk with the sun at your back, maybe even around strangers. Texting while waiting for the kettle to boil.

Some have even suggested intense physical challenges, like camping in the wilderness, where you’re faced with the quietus of the great green outdoors.

You learn a lot about yourself via the lens of others.

Also see: Become the person you would like to be around - by hasif 💌

23. We have work to do in the vein of appreciation

You would think that with a newsletter called Journaling in Public, I would do a lot of journaling on my own. This is unfortunately not the case.

A long while back, I declared the four tents to my life to be intentionality, progression, appreciation, and balance.

I don’t know how much I still jibe with this. I am quick to toss balance and have stressors and reminders against intentionality — but I’m realising now the struggles I have with appreciation; namely, gratitude for the progress I’ve made and the people around me.

To think that I once said gratitude journaling wasn’t for me because I didn’t have a problem with gratitude - whelp, let’s just say I could [see: point 18] work on it, because appreciation is a choice that we make every single day.

Also see: in english, we say “i love you”

24. It’s never as bad as you think

The anticipation of thing is more gnawing, terrifying, and nightmarish than actually doing thing.

This applies to meetings, interviews, physical challenges, tough conversations, and everything known and foreseeable by the mind.

You’ll be alright, mate.

25. You are good at more things than you think

Like, actually.

Not everyone can cook a meal or write a newsletter or operate a pivot table. All things I’ve taken abundantly for granted.

And often times it’s not individual things that are excellent, but instead a combination of multiple things in one person that keeps you in business.

Think about the last time when someone said to you “that’s a good point, I hadn’t thought of it that way” to the most plain, mundane, obvious little thing. Full disclosure is that I say that quite a bit.

Also see: 101 things I’m good at (but also 101 things I’m bad at)

26. And finally, stop trying to make fruit work.

I’ve spent the last eight years buying fruit and letting it rot in the fridge.

Yes, fruit is awesome — but please, please, PLEASE accept that you will never gally up the effort of cutting it and boxing it and eating it within a set amount of time, especially so for avocados that brown within 43 seconds of opening them.

It’s too much of a barrier to make practical sense and you’ve shown time and time again that it’s not a priority. And that’s more than okay.

Despite the staggering backlight, there is something so nice about this picture and I can’t pinpoint why.

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Like last year, this list was surprisingly hard to complete and it probably doesn’t help that I’m churning it all out in one seating with no reference (even though I’ve really wanted to make once since reading this piece from Cate Hall)

This is a self-reminder to update my Now page around this time so that there’s a new current age on it :)

My last five monthly recaps point to a ton of ups and downs, and on the tail end I’m realising that for a lot of these downs — I’ve been putting all the weight upon myself.

I keep things quiet and under wraps, going through the motions like a DVD player logo bouncing off the edges of a television screen, which only started getting better in March where I found myself in more scenarios of brightness — open and honest conversations, putting events in the personal calendar instead of the work calendar, writing with a stronger north star⁴, and let’s not forget actually being exposed to sunlight.

Catching my first sunrise of the year

Life is long and always moving and I’m glad that I’m always growing and learning and finding out more about what the world has to offer / and what I can give back to the world.

As an example, for the very first time in what seems like forever, I’ve suddenly felt the pressure to find a purpose-driven career instead of a profit-driven career i.e. thinking more about the ‘product or service being provided’ where I normally only ever think about ‘my role (and compensation) in a specific company’⁵.

Which is uh, very unlike me. I can be quite selfish that way.

The frontal lobe fully develops at around age twenty-five, a nifty reward for graduating your first quarter-century.

All I intend is that it doesn’t hamper my bocilness.

You can follow the rest of it on Journaling in Public :)

This post is being drafted and scheduled before my birthday so I don’t have a birthday cake picture just yet, so this box from O’Donuts will have to do.

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Some of the stellar articles I’ve read recently:

• Why I Can't *Just* Be a Product Manager Anymore - by Julie Laufer 📤

• the end of productivity (as we know it) - by Eva K ✨

• every company has the same hiring criteria - by Ethan Ding 🪐

• How much sharing is too much online? - by Kalista 🌸

• Quick Fire Reviews #2 - by Theodora 🐠

• And Valerie’s super cool website for club reticent - oracle 🍹

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Thanks for reading all the way to the bottom! Journaling in Public is a newsletter sharing stories and strategies on career, creativity, and finding magic in the mundane. All posts will be free in the foreseeable future but any forms of support — likes, comments, messages, free/paid subscriptions, coffee donations — are so tremendously appreciated. Yours truly, Sav.

1. Though, I don’t think I would be friends with said person.

2. By this, I’m referring to nighttime. I cannot sleep on command like some people can, though I’m generally decent at napping in planes, which is another extraordinary skill (even though said nap is just closing my eyes for two hours straight)

3. What is it with people not finishing their food at restaurants. Can you not like, get away takeaway box? I will always for a takeaway box and have developed a reputation of taking away other people’s food (provided they do not want or cannot have it because they’re staying in a hotel) during corporate dinners with clients — and they think I’m awesome for it.

4. Even though that north star was, admittingly, the hope to create a more profitable personal brand.

5. To expand on this, I have historically only cared about jobs that are within my expertise or where I want my skillset to go (role-based, like ‘data analyst’ or ‘account manager’ or ‘doctor’) instead of by its industry or purpose. I’m only in financial services because it’s a well-paying field that is complementary to me, even though I have little passion (nor dislike) to it. I’m now caring a bit more about what the organisation can do, though I still haven’t figured out what this means to me.