Happy birthday Sav :) and congrats on the fully developed prefrontal cortex 😆 I've heard that for males it might fully develop later than 25 (but my memory is a bit fuzzy and questionable, and I don't have a definite source to back this up...)
In the same vein as the Inception movie, you made a good point about: Think about the last time when someone said to you “that’s a good point, I hadn’t thought of it that way” to the most plain, mundane, obvious little thing; I...hadn't thought of it that way 😅
I also want to point out a very random observation that it seems there are days when you give a shoutout to articles talking about "leaving 9-5/building a portfolio or fractional career" and others when the shoutout is for articles about "being appreciative of 9-5/painting 9-5 more positively"; maybe this could be an additional item for your paradox list :))
thank you and very real!! i think i read a fair share of both sides in terms of traditional career and non-linear career where there are merits to both that are not exclusive either; you can be passionate on building your fractional career while enjoying your current career and I’d argue it’s much healthier that way because 1) it’s not ‘running away’ but ‘running towards’ and 2) short-term pain for long-term gain, especially if you don’t even know for sure that it’ll be the case, is really hard to push through. i want my cake and eat it too and believe that hunger-for-more and satisfaction-for-now can go hand in hand :>
oooh sounds like a healthy middle ground for you! and reading both sides means you can water them both alternatingly :) and I imagine that some days you'll lean more towards one side, and other days the other side, and that's okay too
appreciate the shout — i'll take "possitively snazzy" any day. great list.
"5. your dependability is not a strength"
agree with this. that said, it's much like most things, it can be an asset or a liability depending on the context. i see this with myself as far as my consistency bias, something we all fall victim to. it makes me a man of my word because if i say i'm going to do something, i almost always do it. that just makes me very reluctant to commit to much, but what i do commit to, i do fully.
thank you snazzy man. so many things on this planet are - “it depends”, frustratingly so, and it’s lucky that we humans are built with the discretion* to see and think and decide whether something, somewhere, at this time; is a plus or minus.
Welcome to the 26 club!! It gets better 💃 so many things I agree with and can relate to here; I too fall trap into thinking everything is a "should". I usually try to change it to "need" as in "perlu" — which I think fall into the same category as "could", as it allows us to have more control over it, as you said. As my partner always says, "there's nothing that is a should in this world, only an ideal", which, kinda hits the point for me (not taking it too literally of course but you get the idea).
I still struggle with sitting down and actually reflecting on both my gratitude and my life in general, but I desperately want to. I always felt like documenting my life was too much of a hassle and a chore, unless I really wanted to savor the moment; that's when I will write.
Also, thanks for including my post here! So glad that you enjoyed it. Surprised to find my name here; I've been having a rough patch with writing and even thinking about stopping and deleting this publication altogether, but honestly seeing someone else appreciate it makes me want to keep going.
I’m actually of the opposite to what you say here, my vein is going from “should to could” like “harusnya ke bisa” which is a softening, while “should to need” like “harusnya ke perlu” is more like a hardening, aka a call for discipline and dedication and what you MUST do (because it’s good for you). I’m thinking that a lot of my MUST dos and SHOULD dos are… more optional than I think. could/bisa moves the decision-making into my court instead of someone else’s whether its a parent, partner, authority symbol, or what ‘society’ instructs.
there is definitely room for the MUSTs though, like learning manners and respect for others - so it really depends and we always make our own decisions (even when we don’t - which is a decision of its own)
thanks for sharing kalista :))) appreciate you and here’s to more writing on the interwebs
Happy birthday Sav :) and congrats on the fully developed prefrontal cortex 😆 I've heard that for males it might fully develop later than 25 (but my memory is a bit fuzzy and questionable, and I don't have a definite source to back this up...)
In the same vein as the Inception movie, you made a good point about: Think about the last time when someone said to you “that’s a good point, I hadn’t thought of it that way” to the most plain, mundane, obvious little thing; I...hadn't thought of it that way 😅
I also want to point out a very random observation that it seems there are days when you give a shoutout to articles talking about "leaving 9-5/building a portfolio or fractional career" and others when the shoutout is for articles about "being appreciative of 9-5/painting 9-5 more positively"; maybe this could be an additional item for your paradox list :))
thank you and very real!! i think i read a fair share of both sides in terms of traditional career and non-linear career where there are merits to both that are not exclusive either; you can be passionate on building your fractional career while enjoying your current career and I’d argue it’s much healthier that way because 1) it’s not ‘running away’ but ‘running towards’ and 2) short-term pain for long-term gain, especially if you don’t even know for sure that it’ll be the case, is really hard to push through. i want my cake and eat it too and believe that hunger-for-more and satisfaction-for-now can go hand in hand :>
oooh sounds like a healthy middle ground for you! and reading both sides means you can water them both alternatingly :) and I imagine that some days you'll lean more towards one side, and other days the other side, and that's okay too
appreciate the shout — i'll take "possitively snazzy" any day. great list.
"5. your dependability is not a strength"
agree with this. that said, it's much like most things, it can be an asset or a liability depending on the context. i see this with myself as far as my consistency bias, something we all fall victim to. it makes me a man of my word because if i say i'm going to do something, i almost always do it. that just makes me very reluctant to commit to much, but what i do commit to, i do fully.
thank you snazzy man. so many things on this planet are - “it depends”, frustratingly so, and it’s lucky that we humans are built with the discretion* to see and think and decide whether something, somewhere, at this time; is a plus or minus.
*This depends too though
spot on
Welcome to the 26 club!! It gets better 💃 so many things I agree with and can relate to here; I too fall trap into thinking everything is a "should". I usually try to change it to "need" as in "perlu" — which I think fall into the same category as "could", as it allows us to have more control over it, as you said. As my partner always says, "there's nothing that is a should in this world, only an ideal", which, kinda hits the point for me (not taking it too literally of course but you get the idea).
I still struggle with sitting down and actually reflecting on both my gratitude and my life in general, but I desperately want to. I always felt like documenting my life was too much of a hassle and a chore, unless I really wanted to savor the moment; that's when I will write.
Also, thanks for including my post here! So glad that you enjoyed it. Surprised to find my name here; I've been having a rough patch with writing and even thinking about stopping and deleting this publication altogether, but honestly seeing someone else appreciate it makes me want to keep going.
I’m actually of the opposite to what you say here, my vein is going from “should to could” like “harusnya ke bisa” which is a softening, while “should to need” like “harusnya ke perlu” is more like a hardening, aka a call for discipline and dedication and what you MUST do (because it’s good for you). I’m thinking that a lot of my MUST dos and SHOULD dos are… more optional than I think. could/bisa moves the decision-making into my court instead of someone else’s whether its a parent, partner, authority symbol, or what ‘society’ instructs.
there is definitely room for the MUSTs though, like learning manners and respect for others - so it really depends and we always make our own decisions (even when we don’t - which is a decision of its own)
thanks for sharing kalista :))) appreciate you and here’s to more writing on the interwebs